We'd been strangely silent while walking, but now out of the corner of my eye I could see Jessie hesitantly glancing at me, about to say something.'Yeah? You want something?' I bluntly asked.'No, no. Well, I'm not sure whether or not you're being, well, a dick about it and not telling me which way we're going or you just haven't told me. It's not some secret is it?'I grinned, tempted to just agree that it is a secret and go on. But then I reminded myself that I was trying to be sensible about it. I hate sensible at times. But before I could tell her she started again.'Oh, you're grinning. You are gonna be a dick. Well, fuck you too.'Chuckling, I just shook my head. 'Well, I was tempted to, but I really just forgot to tell you. We're going straight north past Newham over by the border. Then we'll go east along the road to Wessend. We should be by the road day after tomorrow, then two days along the road to Wessend.'Put out, she stopped, embarrassed. 'Well, thats ... fine then. I just. There was nosmile on her lined face. The corners of her mouth were turned down.She cradled the parcel as a mother would cradle a child. She rememberedthe very first time he had tried to latch on, searching, struggling,crying. Her nipple had comforted him then. Her breasts were useless now.She slowly moved into the modest living room. She remembered that, inthis room, he had first crawled, first stood, and first said "ma-ma". Shecould still hear it: that sound of pure living joy. Silently, itresonated even now through the room.She made her way into the kitchen. She remembered his daily efforts toset the table, help her prepare meals, do the dishes, and make tea. Thesame fluorescent light lit the table today as it had when he had done hiselementary school homework. His grades had been excellent; he tried sohard. Her usual apron hung next to the broom closet. The hanger next tohers was empty.She went upstairs. The staircase creaked now as it had years ago. Howoften had she chased him up.
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